Social Dancing – It Shouldn’t Be a Fight

One of the greatest things about learning how to dance Salsa and Bachata is the myriad opportunities to go out dancing every week – to meet new people and have fun dancing your ♥ out. Like anything that involves two people engaging with each other and collaborating, it’s not always smooth sailing. In fact, like another life skill – conversation – it can just as easily become a fight. But this isn’t news to anyone who’s ever gone out social dancing. So how do we make an evening out Salsa and / or Bachata dancing more conversation than fight?

Based on our experiences out social dancing, we’ve identified three tips for having a conversation instead of a fight on the dance floor.

1. Respect. How do you show consideration for your dance partner?

This can range from taking care of your personal hygiene, to respecting their personal boundaries and protecting them on the dancefloor.

Case study: We all get sweaty – that’s what happens when you’re salsa dancing in a packed room with lots of other bodies. But once your sweat level gets to the point where you’re drenched and it’s flying off your body, you’re probably overdue to freshen up – it’s amazing what a quick shirt change and some deodorant can do! 

Respecting another person requires listening.

2. Listen. I have had dances that went a million miles an hour, with combination after combination coming at me, even when I stumbled – it was sink or swim! At the same time, in my early years as a backleader social dancer I admit, I would try and ‘help’ my leaders execute the moves I thought they were going to do. Once in awhile I got it right. More often than not we ended up in awkward positions because I wasn’t (still not) a mind reader. In all these cases, one or both of us, wasn’t listening.

Do you give your partner a chance to tell you what level of dancing they’re at? What their personal boundaries are? What they’re trying to do?

For leaders: do you start with difficult turn patterns or do you give your partner a chance to show you what level they’re able to dance comfortably at? If you get a more advanced follower, are you just throwing her into every single combination you’ve ever learned?

For followers: are you waiting to hear what he’s trying to lead? Or do you cut him off mid-sentence with what you thought he was trying to do?

3. Give. So perhaps you’ve ticked the Respect and Listen boxes. Before you pat yourselves on the back, are you now putting what you’ve heard into action and giving your partner what they need? Or are you still bulldozing your way through the dance – as a lead or a follow?

Another aspect of giving is generosity. I don’t care how amazing you are now; we all started out as beginners. And someone who was better than us helped give us the confidence and the practice to be better dancers. One of the most confidence shattering and / or annoying things is dancing with someone who thinks they are too good for you. Sometimes they’ll tell you; sometimes they’ll try and teach you how to dance, while you’re dancing. Which is the best learning experience, said no one ever!

Generosity on the dance floor – let’s keep the street dancing spirit and our salsa dance scene alive and kicking!

So as you can see, it’s a two-way conversation, this thing called dance. At its best, it becomes a beautiful conversation between two people. At its worst, it becomes a fight.

Over the next two fortnights, we’ll be looking into pet peeves and loves of leaders and followers – straight from the dance floor to you! If you’re interested in participating in this straw poll, comment below or email us with your top 3 social dancing peeves and loves at info@momentalife.com.au. The more feedback, the better for all of us!

See you on the dance floor!

Photo: Ryan McGuire, modified by Momenta rhythms for life